My life so far has been far of what I hoped it would be, and I'm still finding my place in society and wondering what to do with my life. I've lived with depression for most of my life, and probably partly because of that I sometimes cry just because I have a certain moving thought. A recurring idea that makes me cry is the thought of having my own child with me as I'm driving - this frequently comes when I am actually driving. I see two reasons: I'm processing the thought of the great responsibility that comes with children, and also expressing to myself how I long for a child of my own.
Realistically though, I don't have the money nor the identity for a child yet, but I think about children and their needs and lives a lot, and I hope that I get to process and list those thoughts in this blog. This is a very personal blog in that sense. Even if I realize that parenting is a journey filled with uncertainties, and that most of my planning is in vain, I want to share my thoughts and ideas I have now, and to list what I would like to remember if I do in fact become a mother one day. More outwardly directed is the want to connect with others who are thinking about having children and what it would mean in their lives.
