Birth stories

Today I talked with a friend who recently gave birth to a baby boy. I was delighted to hear that the birth went well, and she got to deliver her baby in a tub just like she wished. I have heard worse stories from friends as well. I have been reading stories of births at Perhekerho (in Finnish only). I also read the directions our local hospital (the 4th in the country when it comes to the number of births) gives to people about to have a baby.

This morning I had the Mirena inserted and it hurt somewhat more than it did last time (probably because my period started a week ago instead of a few days ago). I saw my uterus in the ultrasound screen both before and after the insertion - I was thinking about how great it would have been to see a tiny fetus in there. Of course I was relieved since I have been consuming alcohol and taking a medication that would harm a fetus. Last time the most uncomfortable thing in the process was when the gynecologist measured my uterus with a long metallic rod, luckily this time it would have been unnecessary - there is enough space alright. But the actual plastic applicator hurt a lot when it was pushed through my cervix. I felt uncomfortable pain that was accompanied by a sense of warmth for a couple of minutes. That left me wondering if birthing would feel similar, and I remarked something to the gynecologist. She went a bit weird and said, somewhat hesitantly, that giving birth is a natural thing whereas this was something strictly medical (which I understood as artificial).

When reading I was thinking about what kind of a birthing experience I would like to have.  Having a doula or at least someone to help me prepare well for the birth feels essential. What I'm mostly afraid of are damages such as tearing during the birth - I'm sure that I'm not capable of imagining the pain so I really hardly think about it. (The closest to contractions I've experienced would probably be the pain I had before I had to have my gall bladder removed. Not fun, but interesting pain, during which you can do nothing but just exist.) My friend today told me that she had practiced focused breathing and imagined the pain as a black blob that is becoming smaller and smaller. I'm sure to use such methods if I give birth one day - I just hope that I'll be diligent enough with the practicing beforehand.

I imagine that giving birth is a combination of your knowledge, attitude and skill as well as luck. Luck can not be ignored, but beforehand one wishes that one has power to create a good experience. Dayna Martin, an unschooling mom I respect a lot, has written in her blog that she is writing a book about "Attraction birth", a method she has developed in her work as a doula. I would be really interested, but I didn't find any current information about it. I guess that it's still a work in progress.